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Jade Egbert (AU) | Homestuck | Reserved 2/3 I got long I'm sorry
While this colorswap closely follows canon events, there are a few significant differences right from the start. The first: the trolls and the kids have "swapped" places and colors, resulting in different guardians, blood colors, and text colors. The kids are:
Jade Egbert (with Dad, Witch of Breath)
John Lalonde (with Mom, Heir of Light)
Rose Strider (with Bro, Seer of Time)
Dave Harley (with Grandpa, Knight of Space)
While the trolls are as follows:
mutant!Equius (Heir of Blood), maroon!Gamzee (Bard of Time), brown!Feferi (Witch of Breath), yellow!Eridan (Prince of Doom), green!Tavros (Page of Heart), jade!Karkat (Knight of Space), teal!Nepeta (Rogue of Mind), cerulean!Aradia (Maid of Light), navy!Sollux (Mage of Void), indigo!Vriska (Thief of Rage), purple!Terezi (Seer of Hope), and Tyrian!Kanaya (Sylph of Life).
Because of this, Jade goes from the first to crash-land via meteor to the last; dropping into earth on April 13th, 1995, she accidentally killed her Nanna in a freak meteor accident involving a joke shop and an old lady who needed to go into the store to get one last thing. Stricken by Nanna's death, Dad Egbert gathered up both his loving mother's ashes and the newly arrived Jade Egbert and carried them both back to his Seattle, Washington home.
The first thirteen years of Jade's life were relatively normal; she grew up as a normal child with a loving, sometimes overbearing Dad who believed that one day she would mature into a strong, beautiful young woman. There were times when Jade felt a bit lonely -- bullies at school were not kind to the little girl with big glasses and buckteeth -- so when she was looking for friends, she took to the internet for solace. There, she met three people who would soon become her best friends for life: John, Rose, and Dave. They talked to one another via pesterchum, where they took on 'handles' in order to communicate every day.
Jade's chumhandle, while retaining the same initials as canon, is completely different: gregariousGyver. This reflected her interests -- tinkering and mechanics at the foremost (a callback to Jade Harley, who had a preoccupation with tinkering and gadgetry). In addition, she shares canon John Egbert's love of everything cheesy, but her interests are in old-school soap operas and detective shows: particularly MacGyver, the detective mischief-maker who could fashion anything he needed out of simple, household objects (like a paperclip, gum, and some fishing line, for example!). While her friends think this is pretty dorky of her, Jade adores anything that comes with a catchy theme song and a clever ending…but of course, MacGyver is her ultimate guycrush. (they are going to be together forever!! <3333)
Because canon Jade's approach to her guardians is fundamentally different than John's, her relationship with Dad is also slightly different than in canon. Instead of rejecting Dad's love of confectionary objects like John, Jade Egbert actually revels in them; she has learned how to cook all on her own, though she is particularly….average. Prone to ad-libbing rather than following cookbooks or recipes, her items tend to come out inedible at worst and cringe-worthy at best. Of course, this is also the source of her strife with Dad: because he so frequently attempts to help her in the kitchen, she argues with him frequently -- because, like Jade Harley, she is very independent, but like John Egbert, her fundamentally pleasant relationship with her Dad means that their strife scenes are never particularly serious. (I mean, who fights over whether you add salt or sugar? Come on Jade.)
On her thirteenth birthday, Jade Egbert anxiously awaited the arrival of a game called SBURB (which was late!!). She had been looking forward to it for weeks -- one of Jade's favorite types of video games were the dorky world-building type, where you had to make your citizens happy and build them nice homes by combining a bunch of ridiculous objects, so this was right down her alley. Rose didn't want to play, and Dave was busy, so Jade became the client to John Lalonde -- a rather…macabre version of John who took great delight in making Jade traipse all over her house to do things…at least until the meteor. Then they took it seriously.
After arriving in the Land of Wind and Frost, it was only a matter of time until Jade's friends joined her; as the first person in the medium, Jade also had a fun time examining her seemingly barren arctic wasteland, as well as creating a lot of cute new winter outfits, since she was vastly unprepared for the weather. Jade learned from the creatures that lived on her land that one day, the Breeze would come and blow all of the snow clear off of the planet -- and only then, would Spring come to them. Jade thought it was intensely fascinating -- wow! A whole world with a super cool quest!
Also during this time, Jade became aware of the fact that she had been writing on her walls for years -- things were scribbled all over her walls, along with crude drawings of strange harlequins. Jade had always wondered why her dad insisted on putting them all over the house (even though they were kind of cute, they were immensely creepy), and once John pointed out that she had been drawing them over her walls, she finally realized it -- and this was the beginning of her self-awakening, as well as her awakening on Prospit. Jade's dreamself was asleep for most of the beginning of her journey, even before she had gained the discs to SBURB; and though Dave Harley had been trying to wake her up, it was to no avail. Finally, Jade managed to wake up on Prospit, but only after Dave had thrown himself in the way of a falling piece of the moon to save her life. Unlike Jade Harley, Jade Egbert had no prior knowledge of Prospit, and although Dave promised that one day they would walk the golden streets together, she never did; it was destroyed before she woke up.
Of course, Jade was also led astray by a few trolls during her journey, especially a certain Seer of Hope -- convinced to fight her denizen while she was still on the lowest rung of the escheladder, Jade accidentally created a doomed timeline which Rose came back from rather embittered and angry. Thankfully, Rosesprite managed to stop Jade from doing it again…in a rather mean way, but it worked. That didn't stop Jade from trusting trolls, though; she was close friends with Feferi Peixes, a teal-blooded troll who wanted to be GAM---E BUDDI--ES with her. Eventually, this friendship lead to her second death…
…but thankfully for Jade, this death was a lot more helpful. After Jack Noir killed her as she slept on her quest bed, Jade ascended to god tier as the Witch of Breath, fully awakened to all of her god tier Breath powers…though she wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but hey! She had a lot of time to find out! She couldn't even be mad at Feferi, because the result had been pleasant, even if dying hadn't been; after all, the troll had her best interests in heart. Right?
The rest of her story closely follows Homestuck canon: after she ascends, she seeks out her Dad, who has been causing mischief; she meets up with John along the way, who has gone a little….dark. Jade doesn't seem to mind (John I think we are supposed to get married! Isn't that weird?), but both of them find their dead parents and Jack Noir on the roof of the castle. Jade dies and revives, but John dies for good -- and Jade kisses him to wake up his dream self. Jade then proceeds to make plans for the Scratch, aided by Dave, because Rose goes a little batshit and tries to rip a hole in the fabric of time to save Dave from Jack Noir and also offs herself. Combined, Dave and Jade put together a plan -- Jade uses her giant fucking whisk that is combined with one of the Quills of Echidna to start the scratch on Rose's planet while Dave accidentally dies and ascends to god tier as the Knight of Space in order to bust a hole through the fourth wall. Meanwhile, Rose and John go through with their plan to "destroy" the Green Sun, and actually end up creating it -- only to ascend to god tier the super secret alternate way: the Seer of Time and the Heir of Light. With Dave and Jade on a ship and John and Rose on a meteor flying off to approximately the same destination, shenanigans will occur. It's only a matter of time.
Other miscellaneous tidbits:
- Jade no longer fights with riflekind, as Grandpa Harley's preoccupation with guns of all shapes and sizes is not shared by Dad, and certainly no Egbert would be seen carrying a weapon like that if they wished to be a Serious MacGyver! Instead, Jade's weapon is whiskkind, taken from her love of (bad…) cooking.
- Encouraged by the cheerfulness of her favorite 50s television shows, Jade frequently makes friendship tokens for her best friends in DIY style: chains out of paperclips and necklaces made out of recycled metal and crayons are not uncommon. Jade wears every friendship bracelet she's ever made a pair for on her wrists -- so think 13 year old girl with at least 50 silly bands, only those silly bands are mostly made out of household objects.
- Jade managed the Ectobiology in this session. Gee, I wonder why everyone was switched up in the first place… (She loved the babies. They were super cute.)
- Jade's sprite is still Nannasprite, but her Nannasprite has two arms (the second one was held together with thumbtacks, so it didn't fall off like John's did). She still only prototyped the Harlequin before entry; her harlequin was a ~fairy princess~ and as such had a very silly hat and dress. Poor Jack.
- Jade's modus used to be Queue/Stack/Array, just like John's was. Only she's even worse at using them because she doesn't like computer programming, so she eventually trades with Dave for a handy Operation modus! (The board game. With the buzzer. And the little man.) She is much better at that one, because making all of those funny bracelets has given her steady hands.
- Jade types in Egbert blue. Her eyes are also blue to reflect this.